So the time that we’re leaving is very close. Thursday morning we’re driving at the sunrise toward our changed life. Nearly ever person I’ve mentioned this to always asks . if I’m existed or scared. Yes, I tell them, to both. I’m allowing myself to become enthralled with the move, as well as being caught in it’s terror. But there is another thing a handful of people say to me when I tell them about our impending move.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

I can only nod, agreeing. “Yeah, me too.” I tell them. This is entire reason for even looking East in the first place. To fulfill that “I’ve always wanted” part of our lives. I’ve spend all twenty five and half years of my life cooped up in the midwest, and more accurately in the state of Illinois. I’ve never known a life outside of the tumbling corruption of our politicians, that you can always drive east and eventually hit the lake and regain your bearings, that spring is as abbreviated as our autumns, and summer means driving through construction. I was shocked when I visited California to see road work being done in January – I even remember asking my uncle what the hell they were doing. Immediately, I knew it was a silly question, but my life existed sandwiched between the carved out Mississippi River and the divot of Lake Michigan. The midwest is a great place. But it is time for me to go.

I can’t help but think this is the last part of getting away, becoming my own person. I’ve gone to college – grew, lived in the big city – became jaded, and now it’s time to do something else. Some ties were cut that had to be cut and now I feel free enough to not feel that I have unfinished business.

By Friday next week, I’ll be laying in my bed 50′ from a section of the North Atlantic – and that is pretty damn awesome.


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Mulling over maine

Posted on

May 15th, 2011